Monday, November 23, 2009

Hard to pray?

As important as I know prayer is, there has been times in my life that I found it hard to pray. I believed God heard me but I still found it a struggle. And even now when I set time for prayer aside each morning there are days I feel so insignificant that I can't utter a word before God. But then there are days I feel like I touched Him. But why is it hard some days and not others when "God is the same yesterday, today, and forever." He doesn't change but I do.

When I was less mature in my Christian walk, I found it hard to pray because I didn't do it very well. I grew up in church listening to eloquent, powerful, or scripture-filled prayers. But I didn't sound like that. My words clumsily, stumbled out of my mouth. But I learned God looks at the heart. He's not listening to how I pray. He's listening for what my heart is saying. God wants to have a conversation with us even if all we say is, "It's me again."

Then there were times I found praying difficult because I doubted whether God would answer my prayers. I thought I had made too many mistakes and was too far gone for God to salvage my life to be of any use to Him. But I learned we have all fallen short. None of us are worthy on our own. Only Jesus makes us worthy. His blood redeems us. Praise Him! God was waiting for me and He waits for you to come to Him and confess your sins so He can set our feet back on the path He has for us.

As I grew in my relationship with Christ, I found it difficult to pray when I wasn't sure if I was praying in God's will. I didn't want to pray for something if that's not what God wanted for me. I remember praying to have a child. I couldn't fathom why God wouldn't want me to be a mother. But every month when my prayer was not answered, I questioned Him. But I learned we don't find God's perfect will for our lives before we pray, we find it AS we pray. I grew close to God during that time. No matter how long we serve Him, we won't always have full knowledge of what He wants for us in every situation. Just say, as Jesus did, "not my will but your will be done."

Now the biggest reason I find it hard to pray is I have too many things to do. If I don't get that time with God first thing in the morning then my day gets away from me. It's like I'm on a runaway train going down a steep hill and by evening I'll crash. For me I have to make God the priority first thing in the morning. There is a good time for each of us. Ask Him to help you find the right time of day and dedicate it to Him.

As I continue to grow in my prayer time with God, I still feel inadequate to come before the great I AM. I am humbled more than ever with the privilege He has given us "to come boldly to the throne of grace". I'm in awe of His love for me and that He wants to communicate with me. Those are the times I stop talking to sit in His presence and listen. No matter how hard it has been, the perseverance is worth it--PRAY.


No comments:

Post a Comment